The Boy-Child Series V

Hello world, it's a good day to write on this topic again.

I've been thinking and working on this topic all month! I am very interested in the total well being of the boy child, mostly because there is a lot of voices speaking up for the girl child and the most significant part of the world is totally ignored.

Yes, i believe that the men are strong and can get it together most of the time but i also want you to be aware of the need to protect them as boys in order to totally avoid the damage that the girls suffer from the hands of an abusive-male gender.

I got a notification on twitter yesterday to read a story of a young man who opened up about his past experience of sexual molestation by an older female.Immediately i asked permission to lend my voice by sharing his story on my blog.

His story just spurred me to show up here and put up this as a reminder, BOYS GET ABUSED TOO!!!

Here we go;

 THE HEAT OF A FURNACE; BIRTHS THE GEM 

This story today is influenced by Oprah Winfrey’s speech. Today I shall tell the world my truth. I have witnessed series of events growing up which has formed my core principles, personality and ideas. I grew up with my mum because she had our custody and through whom I learnt the virtue of independence but it was really tough and rough because the absence of the father-like figure made me susceptible to lots of travails. I passed through sexual molestation, bullying by peers, attempted suicide and battling with low self-esteem, addiction to pornography and masturbation. I would start with me being molested and my naivety been taken advantaged off by my then LANDLADY’S NIECE, MOYOSOREOLUWA ADUNNI ALAJE. She was at that time a student of North American University Benin Republic, I was 14 and she was in her early 20’s or maybe 19. She was around for her holiday break and would always dress skimpy in the compound, it was during one of our discourse she asked that “have I had sex before? And I replied in the negative that I

only had a female friend but I wasn’t doing such. She told me her younger brother who was of my age had girls at his beck and call if he felt like having sex, she then promised I was going to get laid and I mustn’t tell anyone else she was going to turn it all against me. I was always avoiding anything that would make us be alone because of what she always did but I knew no one would believe a boy saying he was being molested. One unfortunate Friday, I ran out of luck as mum had left for school and my kid sister wasn’t home. I was preparing for Jumu’ah, with a towel around my waist I heard a knock on the door. Who is that? I asked because I heard the landlady and everyone leave for Jumu’ah (N: B On a normal Friday I would leave with them for Jumu’ah because we often pray together at T.M.C. ologuneru) so I wasn’t expecting anybody, “I am the one said the person”. I recognized the voice as hers(MOYO) and I opened the door because it was a self-contained apartment. She came in and I can still remember in a floral pink and white skirt and a crop top (often called spag then) she’s a very huge and a bit on the big size person compared to my own mini average size. She instructed me to start sucking her breast that it was today I was getting laid. There was no escape route, she was in our apartment I did everything possible until I became tired and gave in to her demands because she promised to lie against me if I didn’t accede to her terms. It was terrible cause she did all sorts till she left. There was no one to tell what I had been through, who would believe me. It was going to be her word against mine, more so they owned the house and I didn’t want something I would say that would cause my mum to be thrown out. My libido became high, all I could envisage was sex but I couldn’t bring myself to doing it, the most I ever did then was have a female friend in the neighborhood and I only would kiss her but I still wanted more that was when I discovered Pornography and started masturbating. The mtn data of 15mb/week then on my nokia 112 was used to surf for pornstars (busty, black stars: I always wanted to replicate someone who had Moyo’s physique). I became so engrossed in it such that if I locked myself in the toilet sometimes 80% chances were that I was watching porn online. This continued for a very long time until I sought psychotherapy at the UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN YOUTH FRIENDLY CENTRE AFTER GAINING ADMISSION AND HAVING TERRIBLE GRADES IN MY FIRST YEAR (STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) Being bullied and subjected to victimization is a very popular issue in the boarding house. I had my fair share of it and had to endure those horrible and horrendous acts committed by some of my peers which included GONI FAROUQ, JIMOH AKEEM and some others but the aforementioned really made life hellish simply because they felt I was a simpleton who couldn’t fight and even shamed me because I had female like breasts even though that is a thing of the past now. I was really intimidated and as a result of which I enrolled for taekwondo classes during my first year in the university because I never wanted to be caught unawares again by anyone. Well I refused to fight then because of fear of punishment on the assembly then and fear of what my Dad would say if he heard of such because most of the teachers then were once or were his student. I battled with serious low self-esteem issues as an undergraduate in my first and second years of study and attempted suicide thrice as a result of severe damage to my psyche from molestation and years of bullying, however with the willingness to learn and seek help from the right sources I was able to discover who I really was, am and want to be. I started practicing self-love, decided to let go of the past and forgive everyone that seemed to have been a stumbling stone and hindrance to my normal growth. I have discovered when you hit ground-bottom you start pushing yourself up and create a new identity for yourself. 

Today I am 20 years old and I know who I am, I’m a resilient dogged fighter, I am a lion that hungers for success, I crave to make an impact in the society, I crave to create awareness on Boy-Child Molestation, Mental health, depression and suicidal thoughts and self-rediscovery. 

Everything that seemed like hell to me then has built me up in a different way. 

➢ I found it difficult to discuss very well, so I took to writing. Now I write very well to replace my deficit in talking with strangers 

➢ My body that was being shamed then made me decide to start building my body, even though I’ve not been consistent but I’m no longer the boy with the breasts lol 

➢ I can defend myself properly now if I am attacked, thanks to self-defense training 

➢ I grew up to never rely on anyone for what I want, I sacrifice and chase it and hunt it down 

➢ My inability to socialize made me start reading self-help books, now I’m a bibliophile 

➢ I am a very curious person and I want to learn a bit of everything, I know about bead-making, catering, budding fashion designer & cordwainer, creative writer and content creator, tech enthusiast. 

➢ I find it hard to concentrate on two things at a time because my attention span dwindles, I really am working on my relating skills because I have been told severally that I don’t check up people who aren’t within reach 

➢ I have flaws but I’ve learned to love myself over time and I’ve never regretted not being bugged by what people say. 

➢ Les Brown says “live full die empty”. A sage also says “people’s perception of you should never be your reality” since then I no longer feel obliged to let people’s opinion of me weigh me down. 

➢ I mustn’t forget to appreciate good friends that stood by, with and for me when I was down. You all are the real MVP’s 

➢ I PRACTICE CELIBACY, I MASTURBATE NO MORE. 

This is my story, this is my TRUTH. I AM ABDUL-QAWIYY, I AM A CONQUEROR, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME February 2 ND 2018 MY SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES ARE IG: @thatgermannigerian Twitter: @HQawiyy FB: Hammed Abdul-Qawiyy